March 9, 2020 - Part 2

"My Myers-Briggs says I'm a JERK."

March 9, 2020 - Part 1

"You don't quite comprehend my dilly-dallying proficiency."

February 24, 2020

“I accidentally went to a Babar shop and got a French haircut that makes my ears stick out.”

May 5, 2019 - Part 2

"This sounded so easy with words..."

May 5, 2019 - Part 1

"I just drained all my though juice for the day."

March 16, 2019 - Part 2

"It's not the heat; it's the humanity."

March 16, 2019 - Part 1

"Don't make me have to pull a surly squirrel off your face."

March 12, 2019 - Part 2

"Great. I'm going to anthropomorphize myself into schizophrenia!"

March 12, 2019 - Part 1

"And yes, I used my bookmark to gauge the level of the testicles on that poster."

March 11, 2019 - Part 2

"I'm not a generic customer anymore. This is my Andy Voice."

March 11, 2019 - Part 1

"It's not often I root for a paper plate."

March 7, 2019 - Part 3

"Waddle! Waddle for your lives!"

March 7, 2019 - Part 2

"Your face beeped at me."

March 7, 2019 - Part 1

"Hemorrhoid cream is as close as I'm willing to get to a butt."

October 23, 2018 - Part 2

"We're not turning my beard into a hand puppet."

October 23, 2018 - Part 1

"It looked right picturing it in my head, but my head was wrong."

October 17, 2018 - Part 2

"Your head's starting to look normal to me again."

October 17, 2018 - Part 1

"Dammit!" My wig has an axe in it!"

October 14, 2018 - Part 3

"Okay, I'll enjoy it, but I won't like it."

October 14, 2018 - Part 2

"I think this is what my cryogenically frozen head would dream, but with more money."