December 29, 2012

"I think the average person would pay $10 for a good jarred fart."

December 26, 2012

"I feel like an animated GIF."

December 20, 2012

"I'm glad you put baby Jesus' helmet back on."

December 14, 2012

"It's the '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall' of Christmas songs."

December 13, 2012

"I just waited for the poetic paint to dry."

December 11, 2012

"You are a strong woman.  You don't need some pig with a hand up her ass to tell you so!"

August 2, 2012

"There - Now we have a mostly Vaseline-free tongue."

May 29, 2012

"I would be upset if I was getting the next pizza after the one in the porn movie because it would be all cold and stuff."

May 6, 2012

"Oh no - I just 'Zoidberged' my phone!"

April 14, 2012

"We just berated the timer."

March 30, 2012

"I was going to go for 'robbed,' but I decided to go for 'herpes' instead."

February 12, 2012

"What were you saying before I rudely interrupted with a runaway bean?"

March 15, 2012

"You are the Morton Thiokol of going to bed."

February 2, 2012

"Ah, I'm wearin' pants!"

January 21, 2012

"Yes, this is the Ladyhawk of dairy products."

December 29, 2011

"That's what you get for bein' flingy!"

December 24, 2011

"Dorothy's gone - I can try out the Mexican Hat Dance again!"

December 23, 2011

"It's hard to sigh like a Dalek."

November 25, 2011

"I fogged Tigger!"